Every old friend that I meet these days, the conversation usually goes like:
Old Friend: Arif, Hi man! Long time no see. What’s happening?
Me: Old Friend! So good to see you. Life’s wonderful. Busy as usual. Nothing new really.
Old Friend: Hey, it’s been 2 years since you’ve married right?
Me: Yes, so?
Old Friend: So? So, When’s the good news???
It’s not only friends. But co-workers, colleagues, family, even my cousins who are light-years younger to me.
I’m sure they all have wonderfully angelic intentions. They are enquiring about my future off-spring because they genuinely care and want me to experience the sheer bliss a brand new parent goes through. The bliss explained by Melvin Durai in this excellent blog-post.
Below are excerpts:
Until I became a parent, I didn’t know how challenging it could be. I thought it would be easy, like driving in New York City or getting all my teeth pulled.
Innocent Infancy: This is the baby stage, also known as the “Will I ever get any sleep again?” stage. There’ll be a lot of crying in this stage, which is fairly normal, particularly when you’re looking at your bank statement.
Terrible Twos: This is the stage that all parents dread. You’ll be afraid to take her out in public, except perhaps to the zoo, where she might pick up some tips on good behavior from the monkeys.
Therapy-inducing Threes: If you’re relieved when your child turns three, you’re in for a big shock, especially when you see the crayon drawing on your wall and the ink marks on your couch. At this stage, she doesn’t throw tantrums anymore — she just gets you to throw them.
Enjoy the full-post here.
Arif – I have read your write-up twice just to ensure that I have not missed you answer to the various people interested in you experiencing the most beautiful part of one’s (married) life. There was None!
Having 3 kids – wish I could convince my wife for the 4th but she threatens me when I even hint about it.
But my views are that one should have a kid ever 3 years for the 1st and 2nd and then every 5 years for the 3rd and 4th and thereafter ever 7 years for the rest of your married life. :)
OK I have started a debate our here and the wrath of many (wives) too.
But there you go…if it does start a debate…at least it will give you enough things to chew on and will either help you take a decision or at least get people off your back for the time being.
What are friends for otherwise :)
Hasnain
Hey Arif, good excuses! ;)
So, Arif? When’s the good news?
Hasnain bhai:
Salaams! Mashallah, you have noble aims. Thanks for the comment & for starting the debate too. This blog could use some action :-).
Arif
Nimesh:
Ah, Nimesh. It sounds you’ve been in my shoes then, eh? Or maybe you will be in shoes soon ; )
Arif
Malim Hassanain!
Gosh, it’ so wonderful to hear from you. Me and Ali have been thinking of writing to you for the past many months. Inshallah expect an email from us soon.
Ps to Hasnain Bhai and Malim Hassanain. Oh yeah to answer the question, when indeed is the Good News? Well, soon. Inshallah. Pray for us :-)
I really cant stop laughing!
Allhamdulliah, we are out of this phase, maybe i have another 2 more years to go and then inshallah things should be more easier. Actually, Arif its about raising kids!That is the tuff part. Babies are soly dependant on their parents and for the parents its a darastic change in life. Getting married is a walk in the park. Its only the first day that you bring your first born to home, when you realize the sudden change(especially when you dont get a decent night’s sleep,I havnt slept thru since 3yrs now that i think of it!).
All that being said and done, Its true that children bring LIFE to everyday organized, rather regular, life.
Its a feeling that only parents can realte to.Honestly, although my boys keep me on my toes all day, I wouldnt trade it.
Soop, best of luck and i wish you sleepless nites!
Nadia,
Have a read of this blog post of Nahida. She shares her story of bringing up her daughter till she’s 17. I’m sure you’d be able relate to it.
Arif
Arif, whenever you do have children, i’d lke to pass on a piece of advice my uncle sahdev gave me ‘don’t teach your children what you want them to be. learn from them what they want to be.’
Good one Vidur! Though I can foresee it being difficult to put into use too. Reminds me of a contrary line from an email forward, “When a mother feels cold, she makes her son wear a sweater.” Afterall as a parent, you Always feel that you know better.
Anyway, Inshallah, will try to remember & implement it. :-)
Hi Arif,
Good Blog. I am experiencing the same and my Standard Response to anyone who asks …
“Well … My Wife and me Not ready to share chocolates Yet with Kids”
Cheers
PK
Remember that children teach us much more than we teach them. Everyone I know speaks of waiting too long before having children, that is of course after having one.